It's About the Struggle Part V; Envy

    Jealousy is a disliked characteristic in Islam. The word for jealousy in Arabic is hasad. Hasad means to be jealous of somebody's good position and to wish for its elimination. In english the definition for jealousy is displeasing feeling towards somebody that reaches success, and a desire for their elimination for that position and the cause of destruction directed towards that person that has reached that position of success. A mental uneasiness when fearing a rival (in terms of relationship) and increase in suspicion.

    The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) told the believer "Do not be jealous amongst yourselves." And therefore if you are a muslim and have a feeling of jealousy it is part of the tradition of islam to rid yourself of that feeling.

    Jealousy has three stages. The first is a natural human quality with a degree of jealousy where the man is excused and is not his fault. The second is acting according to the demands of jealousy and this makes the man a sinner and the third is opposing the demands of jealousy and for this the person will be rewarded. Jealousy is usually caused by pride and falsehood where without any valid reason the individual seeks to withhold all of the bounties of Allah (swt). It is a disease of the heart and is harmful to this life and the after life. The prophet (saws) said "Jealousy devours good deeds like fire devours wood." In this life ther person is overwhelmed with worry and frustration and is always desiring the other person to be disgraced or awaiting his failure. This destroys the individual's after life and destroys the peace of his mind in this life.

    Being aware of the dangers of jealousy, we need to look towards what the person can do to destroy jealousy. One thing the person may do is that instead of being angry for the bounties Allah (swt) has given to somebody else, rather they should complement the person for those things.

    The best way to cure jealousy however, from my experience is being content with the gifts that Allah (swt) has given you. Preoccupy yourself with things you already have and the things that make you happy rather than focusing on the things that you dont have and you want to have. The bounties of Allah (swt) are distributed, everything, everyone, by not having one thing have another, people have so many things to make them happy so they should never want or look towards something that is not theirs.

    The need for meditation in also important. The best way to meditate when the feeling of jealousy is taking over the person is to remember Allah (swt) and learn to be thankful. Try to overcome that feeling by looking towards the things that you do have and when the feeling once again comes, and the feeling starts to take over you than leave that place and find another place to calm down immedietly before you can take action and once again ask yourself why you are jealous and how you should be thankful and look at the things you do have and the other person doesnt have or look towards those less fortunate than yourself.

    Also, read these interesting facts to know how fortunate you are in comparison to the rest of the world right now so that you can count your blessings;

If you have food in the refrigerator clothes on your back, a roof over head and a place to sleep . . .

you are richer than 70% of this world.

in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace . . .

If you have money in the bank,

you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning

you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation . . .

you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death . . .

you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married…

you are very rare, even in Canada.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful . . .

you are blessed because although the majority can, most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder . . .

you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore,

you are  more blessed that over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

with more health than illness . . .

Its About the Struggle Part IV; lust

   Lust is a desire for.. (sex). Its like a craving inside you to really want to be with someone and it is selfish. it is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women. A lot of people tend to confuse love and lust unfortunately, thinking they are in love when they are really in lust and the problem with lust is that it is extremely damaging while love is extremely good for a person.

    When you are in lust with someone, you go through the following stages:

Adrenaline

The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.

Dopamine Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine! Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .

Serotonin

And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.

Does love change the way you think?
A landmark experiment in Pisa, Italy showed that early love (the attraction phase) really changes the way you think.

Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa advertised for twenty couples who'd been madly in love for less than six months. She wanted to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

By analysing blood samples from the lovers, Dr Marazitti discovered that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

Newly smitten lovers often idealise their partner, magnifying their virtues and explaining away their flaws says Ellen Berscheid, a leading researcher on the psychology of love.

New couples also exalt the relationship itself. “It's very common to think they have a relationship that's closer and more special than anyone else's”. Psychologists think we need this rose-tinted view. It makes us want to stay together to enter the next stage of love – attachment. 

And how do you fall into lust? Simple.

And finally … how to fall in lust

• Find a complete stranger.
• Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
• Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.
  
  

  The lust crave is also selfish as the person doesnt realize it but they really only want (sex), than you dont care about their happiness or well being and just want to get something out of them, you dont care about their feelings, you dont even care about their well being, its like a self serving thing. Only a self serving thing. Purely animal instincts.It is usually based on inappropriate thoughts or pornographical display of the person which creates that craving that creates lust inside yourself and a lot of times people misinterpret that to be the love feeling, (because they want something so they start idealizing that) It is also short term based unfortunately as it lasts from 6 months and uptil 2 years. And than it fades, and now you are living with a person your entire life.
but dont be confused because love does exist.

    Love is based on compatibility, companionship, ideals and morals. 

    Love is also more selflessness. It is about giving, it is about honesty, commitment and mutual peace and happiness. Somebody that you could feel happy around, someone that you can trust whenever you need somebody to be there. Someone you can depend on and can share things to have in common.

    The secret to love is mentioned to us in the Qur'an where Allah (swt) tells us to desire chastity over lust. Pureness. Real love can only be achieved after you have build your own character to the state of giving, after you are pure yourself. Love ccan only come when you truly know how to love. For purity attracts purity.
The fitra of the person. Imagine the fitra of a swine. A swine will eat things including dead insects, worms, trees, bark, garbage and even dead pigs. A lion on the other hand will only eat fresh meat.(leftovers) even if you were to put fresh food infront of it, and a lion will only eat fresh meat and would never eat the leftovers, and  a human will only eat cooked biryani etc. Similarly, all that is good and pure will attract good and pure things, while all that is filthy and impure will attract similarly impure things. What we love also shows who we are. A spiritual person will like other spiritual beings and will value much higher things (which include compassion, kindness, just treatment) etc and will see other spiritual beings. Love, it can only be from the human spiritual perspective as all that is good and pure is from Allah (swt) and those who are connected to him.

    The thing you have to know is that you could have lust in mind for somebody that is very chaste. You could have lust in mind for somebody very moral and good so at the end of the day it is only you that you have to work at, but the other way to look at it is that it is impossible to not have lust for someone that tries to be lustful. But in the end, most of it has to do with character and values that make love. Love includes for someone to be religious so they value things like giving, honesty, modesty, peace and happiness. They dont seek selfish reasons out of you that are self serving, and its always important to remember in every relationship (which ofcource is "love" that is in relationships) that you focus more on what you do for the other compared to what they do for you. A moral characteristic in relationships is about your dealings with people that have to be more understanding and giving. Because when you love the person, you want to make them happy, listen to them in times of need, support them throughout every situation, care about their well being while you are away from them, and keep their respect after they are gone.

    So controlling lust, the answer to it has also been given to us in the Qur'an. It says, to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty (and do men's hijab which is below the knees and upto the bell and for women that they should lower their gaze and cover their entire body except for what must be appeared infront of non mehrams. Because lust sees with the eyes, but love is truly blind but sees with the heart. And Allah (swt) also says in the Qur'an, that he put love and mercy between you and the one one that Allah made for you. And that is real love.

Its About the Struggle Part III; Depression

    The next difficult challenge that an individual is going to face is depression. Its another attack of shaitan and another internal battle that needs to be fought. The only way to do that is to go 180 degrees the opposite direction. The fundamentals of happiness

1. know that if you do not live in today that your thoughts will be scattered, your affairs will be confused, and your worrying will increase. When in the morning than do not expect to see the evening, in evending do not expect to see the morning
2. Forget the past but have learned from it to help you live today but do not be distressed over it
3. do not worry about the future until you are there
4. do not be shaken by criticism but be firm and know that the criticism rises according to your worth
5. faith in Allah and good deeds make up a happy life
6. whoever desire peace, tranquility and comfort can find it in the remembrance of Allah
7. You should kow everything that happens is determined by the divine decreed
8. Do not expect gratitude from anyone
9. Train yourself to be prepared for the worst
10. Perhaps what happened is actually in your best interest but you do not comprehend it
11. Everything that is decreed for the muslims is best for them
12. Enumerate the blessings of Allah and be thankful for them
13. You are better off than many people
14. Relief comes from one hour to the next
15. In both times of hardship and ease one should learn to supplicate and do prayer
16. Calamaity should strengthen your heart and shape your outlook in a psotive sense
17. With each difficuclty there relief
18. Do not let trifles be the cause of your destruction
19. Indeed your Lord is oft forgiving
20. do not be angry do not be angry do not be angry
21. life is bread, water and shade so do not be perpetuated by lack of material things, rather consider all the other things fulfillments of needs plus (the other needs) bonuses and extra blessings
22. Most evil that is suppose to happen never occurs
23. Look towards those who are afflicted and be thankful
24. When Allah loves a people he makes them endure trials
25. You should constantly repeat supplications that the prophet taught us in the times of hardships
26. be productive and cast off idleness
27. dont spread rumours nor listen to them and if you hear a rumour dont believe it
28. malice and striving for revenge are worse to your health than antagonist
29. hardship atone for sins

(the list of tips are from "dont be sad" from the site kalamullah)

Its About the Struggle Part II; Anger

   The second struggle that an individual has to face is anger. The thing about anger is it can come up at any time any place and for any reason whether it is big or small. You can take any of the sins such as pride, where anger can attack you because you think that you are better than somebody else. In Greed when you really want something you might get angry for not getting that something, gluttony the same thing, depression can lead to anger because you are frustrated that nobody is there for you or that things are not working out the way that you wanted them to so to fight out of that you feel the need to get angry. Envy can lead to ferocious behaviours, and so we see anger in all kinds of situation, big and small but the thing about anger is that the person acts out of the grasp of reason and entirely out of emotions.

   Taming your anger is very difficult and the best way to do it is to firstly make sure that you pray for all five times every single day. Make sure that you are dressed clean, that you yourself are clean and your room, your surroundings are all organized and in place. Make sure to drink water or keep it close to you in a bottle because anger can strike any time and at any place at big or small things but before it takes over you, you really need to tame that feeling. You might be right or you might be wrong but if you loose your temper and if you do get angry whether you were the one that was correct you are going to look guilty. I've faced a few situations in life where the other person was entirely guilty but because I lost my temper at their selfishness that I ended up getting in trouble. Guilty people, they try to anger you but sometimes it may even be that you are the guilty one but are blinded by your anger. The thing is, anger is like a bomb, an explosive device just sitting around and it can blow up any minute but you have to stop the reaction from happening, stop yourself from exploding because anger is nothing but a form of absolute and complete chaos. And when it comes right down to it, logic defeats anger.

   Before I began talking about my own knowledge I would also refer this site which is really interesting when discussing anger and when you are angry it will make all the sense in the world (the things that are referred to and being explained).

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx#

   From my own experience, and from my knowledge of the hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh), that when you are angry, if you are standing, sit down, if you are sitting down lie down, and if you are lying down and it doesn't work than go and drink some water. These are all forms of relaxation. When we are angry our blood pressure rises and other reactions happen in our body because certain things are going to irritate us, certain times we are going to feel like what made us angry is justifiable such as injustice, neglect and things of this nature. The thing to remember however is that anger will exaggerate everything around you. Anger will make the problem gigantic and illogical, anger will be based on the perspective that I am correct and all the rest of the people are incorrect but controlling it is not an easy thing to do at all. But anger comes from the shaitan, and it needs to be controlled.

    The best thing to do when something irritating happens is to either express it and that doesnt mean to demand someone to be a certain other way it means to say it through steps such as I would like it if you were to do things this way, or to change yourself out of that environment or to find something less irritating and more calming to do and change your focus. Meditate, make sure to do your prayers. When anger is coming than try to calm yourself down by reminding yourself that it is from the shaitan. If it doesnt work than go to drink a glass of water, if that doesnt work than leave the room and ask for a moment on your own and go sit down, lie down and breathe inhaling and exhaling slowly but if none of those things work than start praying. Do a few rakats with meaning and not in a rush and than if nothing is helping than go take a shower and start reciting Qur'an abundantly until the shaitan inside you is defeated.

Just remember. Anger doesnt solve it. Never allow yourself to be angry. Proper things might be irritating you but you need to handle them assertively. Neither passively, nor aggressively. Always with a calm ming.

It's about the struggle Part I; Pride

    Everyday is going to be a constant struggle between two sides of a person. That is the difference between the moral sense and values in life and the other side which is the desires, and completely selfish gain. The shaitan is going to play with our ego, our mind, and is sometimes going to play with our feelings but we have to constantly struggle and purify our hearts, our intentions and our actions.

    There are seven forms in which the shaitan plays with our insides known to Christianity throught he seven deadly sins. These seven deadly sins are pride, anger, greed, gluttony, depression, lust and envy. These forms are all mentioned within the Qur'an as well but these are all forms that exist within us as well as one more which would be laziness as another form of evil that exists within us. Perhaps there are more but this is one base that I have knowledge on and so I am going to be writing on these forms of evils that are within us and what we can do to make the good in us stronger. In my conclusion I will be writing about the benefits of purifying ourselves of the evils within us in the search for absolute truth and formation of absolute justice and peace in our lives.

    The first of the seven deadly sins that we have to struggle with in ourselves is pride. Pride can be the cause of creating an extremely illogical mind, and the cause to many arrogant actions which can lead to brutality and therefore needs to be cured in the first stages of our life. Before I discuss the elimination of pride from our character I am going to quickly clarify the difference between pride and self esteem. Pride is when an individual considers himself superior to other people and therefore justifies the treatment of other people as lower than him. One way to look at this is through the statement "treat others as you yourself would like to be treated" which pride would destroy by seeing people as lower than yourself. Pride is also the cause of arrogance and misbehaving towards other people that may not be privilaged with the same things or the same assumed things as the person that has the pride. Self esteem is very different than pride because self esteem includes being thankful for who you are, making statements on the basis of knowledge that you are aware of and know and therefore confidentaly making those statements. Self esteem is also not degrading yourself towards other people but maintaining your level by being entitled to your own opinion, and making actions based on your knowledge and being grateful towards what Allah (swt) has given you of his bounties and what he has made you by giving you health and beauty while not degrading those around you but understanding that as an individual you value who you are but it doesnt mean that you look down upon what other people are.

    Pride is regarded as a deadly sin because it is harmful to your charactor. It is harmful to the way you see the world around you and it is harmful to the company that surrounds you. It prevents you from seeing the good in other people and it is degrading the people that are around you. It prevents you from understanding the views of people in different situations in life and you from learning more about the world that is around you. An example of pride is when a person has religious knowledge that they are following. The person looks towards other people and considers them inferior to him for not following the religion as perfectly as they themselves are and therefore the target of the person's arrogant behaviour but the truth is that one of the biggest sins in islam is to have pride and treat people arrogantly. The truth is that part of being a really religious person includes making sure that you are able to learn and understand the situation of other people but mainly focus on your own self knowing that the only reason any person is ever going to enter Jannah is because of Allah (swt)'s mercy towards us. As long as we have our intentions clear, do good actions not for the ego to be boosted but for Allah (swt) perfectly and completely, than we are well off. Degrading or looking down upon other people is not going to help us at all.  'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "No one who has an atom's weight of pride in his heart will enter the Garden." A man said, "And if the man likes his clothes to be good and his sandals to be good?" He said, "Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means to renounce the truth and abase people." [Muslim] This hadith shows us that caring for one's own self is very different from having pride and also that if a person has even an atom's weight of pride inside of him that it is not possible that this person is going to enter jannah or even come close to it. So if a person want to attain jannah, regardless of the losses and benefits in this life, he or she must get rid of the charactoristic of pride. Looking at the losses and benefits, the person degrades the people that are around her or him and treat people arrogantly. Salama ibn al-Akwa' reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, aid, "A man will continue to be arrogant until he is written among the tyrants and what strikes them will strike him." [at-Tirmidhi] Putting people down to such an extent that there will come a point where the person treats his surroundings arrogantly and is going to behave like a tyrant in his or her misbehaviour and therefore be punished like a tyrant.

birthday wishes to friends

H ave the greatest time ever
A lways stay hopeful and never say never
P arty all day
P arade all the way
Y ou know you deserve it and so i say
*
B irthdays are special so have a great day
I n time i wish all your wishes come true
R ings gifts flowers, just for you
T rue friends like u are hard to find
H aving you as a friend brings peace to my mind
D reamer i hope ur dreams come ttrue !
A lways and forever,
Y ours trulyy zara :D