its good to think before you talk. It's good to think about whether or not what you're saying is going to hurt someone feelings, its good to consider if you're saying what you're saying in the appropriate time. It's good to take the context into account. It's good to filter the shaitan's whispers before you talk. It's good to mean what you say and not speak for the sake of only customs & manners & politeness but through sincerity and meaning. It's good to make sure what you're saying is clearly stated and understandable. It's good to think before you talk.
Table of Contents
Speak the Truth (3:17)
Speak Straight (33:70)
Speak Justice (6:152)
Speak Kindly (2:83)
Speak Politely (17:53)
Speak Fairly (17:28)
Speak Gently (20:44)
Speak Graciously (17:23)
Speak not in vain (23:3)
Speak no lie (22:30)
Author's Note
Before I start this whole article. Im going to have to mention sincerity in this section as well. Sincere speech means to say something, sincerely. It is good to say good things but it is even more important to be sincere in what you say.
The Qur'an specifically says that " They were that day nearer to unbelief than to faith, saying with their lips what was not in their hearts But Allah hath full knowledge of all they conceal". (Surah Al imran, 167).
This line is defining the hypocrites. That is equivalent to lying, insincere speech is equivalent to lying. When a person's motives are different, when there is pretending, or when a person is speaking fair words for ease. This is insincere speech.
Speaking good or remaining silent actually goes to thoughts. If the shaitan gives you a bad thought you should cast it out, you should clean out your thoughts, you should consider your motives and your intentions and before you speak you should make sure that your words are sincere.
Don't be speaking good or remaining silent when your motives and intentions are actually bad because you would be lying, and you would by lying to yourself and Allah (swt) will know what you are concealing in your hearts so be afraid of Allah. Clean your heart, and it will automatically clean your tongue.
THis goes to the timing as well. You dont have to say things at a specific time. You have to say things on the spot. You shouldnt have to plan ahead, you should just say whatever on the spot. Of cource timing is relevant where you don't want to be telling somebody their responsibilities when they are in a really bad mood or when somebody is crying you dont want to show up with the bad news. Timing is important and it is important to know that you dont tell somebody something when they're not in the mood at all, or when you know you're just goign to make the whole thing a lot worse for somebody. You would also want to surprise somebody at a time when they would want to be surprised the most and so timing is important to a degree but not so much that you are just not saying things on the spot. The reality is, the best time to say them is when they are the most relevant which tends to be at the moment because that is how memories are recalled when they are spoken about, on the spot. There are only a few exceptions regarding timing.
As well, being connected to reality.
You dont want to be going on and on about your life without even listening or reading your listener or audience. You have to engage the listener at the same time and consider them. For example, you dont want to keep on talking to a person that really doesn't care at all what you have to say. You dont want to be talking on and on almost like you're up in the sky with vague words and the person listening to you has absolutely no idea what you're saying. Sometimes words like "do you know what I mean" or, asking questions in between to make sure the person is actually listening helps. Also keep on reading their expressions, it'll give you a huge hint as to whether they are even listening to you at all or not.
You're ideas are definately worth listening but they way you present them is also important.
No one in this world is going to understand you. They don't share the same experiences as you, they haven't had the same life as you, as much as you have a vivid picture of exactly what you're saying, they dont. So you're going to just have to speak clearly and make sure they understand what you're saying.
The most engaging speaker will be the sincere speaker. Their eyes, their expression, their gestures, will all say exactly what their words say and they will be the easiest to read.
If you can make your speech sincere, you've already done the speaker part,
now it's all about the listening part that needs improving.
